Yes, Donna. My thoughts exactly.
I have a fear of spending - or really the thought of having spent money on something that didn't actually make me happy - the opportunity cost wounds me. Just cuts me to my quick.
Opportunity cost is the operative word (phrase?) there. What if I do it wrong? What if I don't maximize my earnings? I'll feel like I failed myself!
What's maximizing? It's not being a maxinista (yes, tj maxx - of course I am a maxinista and sometimes I guess that plays into the feeling of having maxinized). It's having gotten the best of something - usually in my case involving the least cost for the best combination of maxed out requirements.
But as I've aged (to the ancient 32) I've realized that maximizing is not something you can actually do. There's always a better option that you just didn't know about and worse - the other options start to decay the moment you don't take them so if you decide to wait and look for a while and then decide to go back - you've gotten a worse deal than if you'd just grabbed that one earlier. It's really a trap. Not to mention maximizing takes a fuck ton of time. The best you can do is to feel like you've maximized. I guess even better would be to just turn yourself into a satisfiser but even the thought of just taking the first option that meets enough of your desires hurts me.
SO how do you feel like you've maximized? Beats me, kid. I mean - I rarely buy anything and then look lovingly at my 6 figure savings account....and then feel bad because why the hell am I only earning a couple bucks a month in interest when I should be inflating with our out of control stock market?! So do I feel like I'm winning? errrrr. At least I do feel good about my income. I feel like I'm pretty much comfortable there....I mean if I 20x my income maybe I could buy a huge skyline penthouse and stop caring about money. But the investing side. bad, alexandra; bad!
And here we are - we're going to talk through my inability to invest properly. Because I make lists and I berate myself but when I finally get to it there's like an internal ripcord that parachutes me outta there.
Let's take for instance that I have a very weird mixture of monies. 1/3 diversified portfolios (mainly stocks not bonds), 1/3 previous current employer stock, 1/3 cash. This should probably be different?
You're thinking of diversifying your account? NEVAAAAAAR screams the ripcord....well it really just bombards me with all kinds of confusing thoughts. Like maybe every financial planner ever is wrong because having a third of your income in your current/past employers has actually been your greatest ROI - way better than your diversified portfolios! So why sell the best ROIs? also selling is weird and incurs fees (yeah - that's a big one for my brain. we'll come back to it.)
wait why isn't there a thing that you put in your portfolio and it tells you how much tax you'd pay to sell it all off.....that's like legit a great service. I can only assume the costs outweigh the benefits.
Maybe you should move out most of that cash into investments? GOD FORBID!! What if there's a crash tomorrow and you lose it all?! ignore the fact that you lose every year to inflation. that's not important. and ignore that we've been saying the same thing for 5+ years now. Both times you've moved out 20k you've lost over 10% of it in the 3 months after you did that so cash it is! Better yet just buy some gold bricks and build them into a remote property's foundation to keep them safe. yes. my precious.
Okay... maybe we should learn about the megabackdoorroth again (I'm not sure where the spaces go in those words so I'm making it one word). we have to read AGAIN?! But once I though it wasn't for me....then I thought it was. I've done so much learning already - why don't I have a strong opinion? must not be important. won't have a huge impact on my retirement. and why do I tie so much up in retirement anyway? who knows if the world will be a swirling pile of dung on fire by then. Let's just continue to pile up money for things I never buy.
Let's just buy one stock. Just one! okay...I think I can do that. seems fine. how much harm could it do?
Great! Ok you like buying your principles - let's find some stocks that will give you peace of mind. Oh there's that VEGN one! but....is amazon on there? I don't like that. it's not necessarily not vegan so like...that'd be bad. And technically google serves meat in the cafes....maybe I shouldn't feel good about having my own company's stock. AM I A HYPOCRITE?! is there something I could buy and feel good about?!?! it's too much.
And buying one company's stock seems like a big hassle. I want to buy and hold and indexes are better for that. But like....which company do I totally jive with and think will be a good ROI?
Dude - maybe we could get more young people and more young women to invest if they could see celebrity stock accounts. Like that social holdings app. wonder why that hasn't blown up.
Alright - well maybe you could give stock to charity? you already give to charities each year and giving stock means selling it with fewer tax implications.....I think? but I don't know and it seems difficult to even figure out how to do so! do I pay an acat fee? I think my 401k account allows it but I'm obviously not taking it from my 401k! so that doesn't help.
WHAT IF I GET TAXED WEIRD?! the only strategy is buy and hold forever - or at least until I understand the implications of selling....yeah I mean forever.
FINE - how about we just paper trade? yeah!....now what's the best app for that. Which features do I need in order to make it feel real so I don't have a bad transition to the real world? Well now this is an ordeal of research I can put off forever.
And that is how you maximize investing! Did I say maximize? I meant put yourself at a disadvantage and ruin your feelings of self-worth. Yay!....At least I do my taxes on time usually.
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